Last night I was lost again. Losing is a funny thing. Losing is not an act of volition and thats why losing is often times very difficult to characterise. One can say that it has to do with not following a certain series of steps while carrying out a certain job.
Having a clear head is actually the opposite of having a muddled head, and both are equally amorphous categories. Here, I am losing my mind and was losing my mind slowly, with surgical precision and I am not even ranting and raving. In fact, I am losing mind and I know it. Has anyone ever heard of losing one's mind with a clear head! Isn't this somewhat akin to "methodical madness"?
But, dissecting myself with a conscious mind and steel hand is a funny feeling. Seeing my blood soaked viscera with with its fatty entrails with such clarity is quite humbling indeed.
But, I get up..take a swig of water..brace myself up for another bout with myself and tire myself to sleep..
